STEP AWAY FROM THE PROBLEM

A Definition of Meddling

Proverbs 26:17 (KJV)

He that passeth by, and meddleth with strife belonging not to him, is like one that taketh a dog by the ears.

The definition of meddling would be, taking up a strife (or offense) that is not their own – choosing sides.

As Christians we ought to love one another and pray that Christ be honored. There is no Biblical room for a believer getting offended for any reason[1]– let alone taking up someone else’s offense.

A Trap in Meddling

Proverbs 20:19 (KJV)

He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.

Whenever we get involved in an offense that is not our own (and remember – the thing to do when we are offended is forgive.[2]) we are blinded because we only know what the person whose offense we take up wants us to know.

A Priority in Meddling

Proverbs 24:21 (KJV)

My son, fear thou the LORD and the king: and meddle not with them that are given to change:

The subject of the offense should be yielded to God first and then to those who are in authority. The rest of us should pray for all involved love all involved, seek to see the Lord glorified.[3]

A Conclusion Concerning Meddling

Proverbs 17:14 (KJV)

The beginning of strife is as when one letteth out water: therefore leave off contention, before it be meddled with.

Leave off contention.

That simply means stay out of it.

The best time for a Christian to back away from the offense is at the beginning. In the legal world they call it de-escalation. The longer the offense is carried the more damage it can potentially cause. Back out of it quickly. Apologize for anything you might have done to make things worse and step away so that you can pray for all parties involved.

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[1]Psalms 119:165 (KJV)

Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.

[2]Matthew 6:14-15 (KJV)

For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:

But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

[3]1 Corinthians 10:31 (KJV)

Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.

The idle word

Matthew 12:36  

But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.

An interesting thing happened to me the other day. I was in a conversation with a man I deeply admire, a preacher 26 years my senior. In the course of conversation I mentioned that I had recently turned 60, telling him the date of my birthday. The conversation carried on with little change of direction with the mention. We enjoy3d the m3al and the fellowship. I thought nothing of my mention of my birthday nd would have guessed my friend thought little of it either.

Next day was Sunday and my friend was preaching. In the course of his message he brought up our conversation, my mention of my birthday and then said, “I was up last night thinking about that. I had a son born that same month and year. He died just two months later.”

I didn’t know. I meant nothing by it. He did not make a big deal of it at the time. But just the mention of my birthdate opened the doors of a sixty year old grief for him.

It reminded me of how powerful words are. No wonder Jesus warned that we will give and account of every idle word. Words expressed with little thought and deliberation can be painful, even downright harmful.

My words were spoken in innocence and received without offense. Still they caused pain. I am not saying that what I did was wrong, I don’t think it was. But it does serve as a reminder how important it is that we consider our words.

Marvin McKenzie

In the fields

A Comfort Gone Bad

John Gill makes a comment on Job 32:1 that's worth consideration. He writes, "His three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite, who came to visit and comfort him under his afflictions; but unawares were led into a controversy with him, …."

How often good intentions turn into something very wrong.

• We mean to say something cheerful but we say something hurtful
• We mean to be helpful, but our effort turns out harmful
• We mean to be a blessing, but the blessing turns out bad

Very often the person we hope to comfort is in such pain that they misunderstand our intentions and our comfort goes bad. At other times their pain causes them to misspeak and we take it wrong and react and the comfort goes bad.

Much too often the well intentioned contribute to the pain of a suffering soul when they are led unawares into a controversy with the suffering.

Here's the thing; I can't imagine it should ever be considered the suffering soul's responsibility to set this controversy right. Those who have come to comfort need to be prepared to be misunderstood and misinterpreted and to forgive and let whatever reactions the suffering soul has roll off.

Forgive one another.

Marvin McKenzie

In the fields