Making Marriage Bible Based
At the time of this writing more than 50% of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. This, shockingly, includes those marriages of Christian couples.
Some of the reasons for that could be:
Because the term Christian is so loosely used in the United States.
Just because a couple got married in a church (and likely had some sort of pre-marriage counseling) does not mean that the couple is actually Christian.
Some churches require that one or both or the wedding couple be members of the church performing the wedding.
Church membership is also no true promise of genuine faith. Baptist Churches attempt to filter those who are not saved from church membership through profession of faith and baptism. Still some get into membership who are not truly saved.
Christian couples are so conformed to this world that they behave more like those of the world than like the Christians of the Bible
There’s no reason to be overly judgmental of this point. The fact is, everyone who gets saved is conformed to the world. The Christian process of sanctification is one of being renewed into the image of Christ. We are all on differing stages of that process.
In every case where a Christian seeks a divorce, there is but one root cause
At the heart of every divorce one or both parties has allowed their emotions to overrule the will and the Word of God.
There is no other reason.
We have our contributing factors:
- Incompatibility
- Financial pressures
- Family pressures even
- moral failure
None of those provides a biblical excuse for divorce.
Even in the case of moral failure, some argue that this gives permission for divorce. It does not, however, require divorce.
In every case divorce happens because, as Jesus put it, the hardness of the heart.
Emotions overwhelm and overrule the clear and plain teaching of the Bible.
By the time most couples come to the place where they want a divorce, emotions have so overwhelmed them that
- No passage of Scripture
- No models of relationship rebuilding
- No counselor
- No pastor
- No parent, relative or friend
Can talk them out of the divorce
Most couples meet and marry over emotional issues
- They find themselves attracted to each other
- They find that they enjoy each other’s company
- They find that they have things in common (sometimes that is a Christian faith)
They “fall in love” and agree to be married all based on emotional stimuli.
If the Christian couple is not aware of this, and early on develop a relationship that is more Biblically founded, when emotions fail, emotions will tear the marriage apart.
How to build a Biblically based relationship
- Become a Biblically based Christian
This means that as individuals you spend personal, quiet time, reading the Bible, studying what it means and then - MOST IMPORTANTLY obeying the Bible.
- Begin quickly to do Biblically based activities
This includes reading the Bible together, studying a book of the Bible together, attending church together, discussing what the message of the Bible meant to one another together
- Practice Biblically based household
Where the husband leads the family, the wife supports her husband, the children are taught to obey and they are brought up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord
- Understand the Biblical place of the church and the pastor in your life
The church is a body to which you are committed for a lifetime.
The pastor has been placed over you by God to watch for your souls. You are to obey him. He is not a lord over your life, but he IS placed to stand in the gap and help you to make wise choices in this world.
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